It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
