One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
