oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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