That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
