You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
