me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize