You made me cry and you don't even care
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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