I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
