She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
