If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
