just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I will pee on everything he values.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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