Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
