Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
