Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
