He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
