Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
