you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
