i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize