Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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