how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize