no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
