85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
