I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
