i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
