maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Sorry my hands just texted you
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
