Well douche your snatch and let's go!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
