and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
