Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize