Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
