his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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