i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
