i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
someone owes me an orgasm
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I wear drunk well.
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