Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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