A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
time to smoke my breakfast
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
