Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
cat food counts as protein by the way
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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