we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
