Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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