she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
