So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Are we still banned from the library?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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