Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
