I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
