Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
