hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
