is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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