I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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