Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize