dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
