I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
