Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
