Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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