I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
