Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
