i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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