and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
