The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
