um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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