i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize